We’ve all had that moment in our lives when we’re on a date and we realize we’ve become someone else entirely just to impress our partner or win their affection. In other words, we lose our true selves.
While you might think this will make you more attractive, it can have the opposite effect and end up driving your partner away rather than bringing them closer to the real you. For tips on how to be yourself when dating, read on!
1) Know What You’re After
If you are not sure what you want and are feeling pressured into doing something sexually that you don’t want to do, stop the date. Take a moment to reflect on what you’re after. Knowing what you’re after is important in a relationship – and it’s also important in dating. You don’t want to make mistakes on the first date.
What are your opinions? What are your beliefs? Questions like these will help you know yourself. Most times, we act according to what others dictate. We live our lives based on people’s opinions and beliefs. But beneath all of that lies your true self.
Sex should be fun and pleasurable for both partners, so if you’re uncomfortable with a request from your date, it’s best to speak up. Remember that it’s okay to say no – even if they have been pressuring you or saying things like but I like you. Like earlier said, you don’t want to make mistakes.
When you find that part of you, then you can be your true self indeed or the best version of yourself.
2) It’s Ok To Be Nervous
It’s normal and natural to feel nervous about dating but it all boils down to confidence. You’re putting yourself out there, going on an adventure into the unknown, and it can be scary! But it’s also important to be confident in who you are. So if you find that you want to protect your feelings by holding back or not showing all of who you are, take a deep breath.
I promise that the more you open up and share, the more people will connect with your authenticity. Most people are often attracted to honest people with enough confidence to express their true self. It might even lead to sex pleasure!
3) Don’t Pretend to be Cool
Being yourself is a good thing. You should be yourself. Don’t pretend to be someone else and don’t try to be someone else’s idea of who you should be to impress anyone. It often leads to serious social situations.
Remember, it is “dating” not a display of perfection. I’m not going to tell you that it is easy to do this, but I will tell you that it is worth it because being true to yourself and respecting your boundaries are the keys to having sex with pleasure.
Also, stop worrying about what others think or feel about you. If you get a penny each time someone has an opinion about you, you’d own a boat by now. Be the real you and remain in your comfort zone. Let the other person discover your true self, not the staged version.
Out of fear of what others think about you, you may be forced to act out of character. You’d always want to impress them, which isn’t helpful.
4) Be Present
Be present at the moment and enjoy what is going on. You are there to have a good time, not think about all the other things you need to do or worry about what might happen next.
Maintain your independence and don’t let anyone try to put you on a pedestal or make you feel guilty for having interests outside of them. You are who you are, so be yourself! Everyone has the right to their options. In the end, it’s your opinion that matters.
5) Move On From Your Past Or Guilt
Another tip on how to be yourself when dating is to move on from your past. There’s a reason why they say “the past is in the past.” Stop criticizing yourself.
You should know that your past does not equate to your future, at least, not all the time. When you keep dwelling on your past or guilt, it hampers down on your present relationship. You shouldn’t let past mistakes prevent you from having fun.
The best way to deal with the past is through communication. You’d be shocked to find that you feel better after talking to your partner about it. Just focus on “now”, that’s all that matter when dating.
6) Be Happy To Accept Yourself
Stop trying to change what is beyond you. If you’ve tried to change but you don’t feel it’s working, the best thing is to accept yourself.
When you accept yourself happily, you not only be yourself when dating, it helps your self-esteem. To accept yourself happily, start by letting go of negative self-talk, beliefs, and past mistakes. It has limiting effects.
Focus on your strength and confidence to build yourself. Replace negative self-talk with positive ones. Rather than telling yourself you need to be perfect, or you cannot be a better person, tell yourself you are wonderful.
You cannot enjoy your dating experience if you cannot be yourself when dating. Start by knowing and accepting yourself.
Also, learn to let go of your past and don’t try too hard to impress anyone.